


What Goes Around Comes Around

by ribonhwa



Category: the GazettE
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:44:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1908045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribonhwa/pseuds/ribonhwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kouyou was tired of running in circles, tired of going through the same fights with his loved one. If this wasn't going to go forward, shouldn't he just end it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Goes Around Comes Around

**Author's Note:**

> First Uruha/Aoi fanfic that I actually got in the condition to be able to publish; it's so different to write going from a pure, soft, easy kind of reituki love to this complicated, messy, not quite easy aoiha. And I love both, but this might be more to my taste despite that I've written more reituki.  
> Anyway, please, enjoy !

The coffee before him had turned cold some time ago, as he couldn't exactly find it in him to finish it. Akira looked at him with regret in his dark eyes behind the dry, blonde strands of hair. Kouyou didn't blamed the other of course, there was never a good reason in any story to shoot the messenger after all. Even if he could see how a person with more temper than him would need something to went some anger out.

He had just never really been one for anger, not flaming up about stuff, but more one for getting upset and not sure what to do about it. It showed in his dark deer eyes as a silent kind of sorrow, like a plead for help and easing that no one could fill.

"I'm sorry", Akira said in a deep voice, the remorse clear in his tone. Kouyou just shook his head and turned to look out the big window of the cafe to the rainy street. There was another person he'd much rather hear those words from with such a pained and regretful voice, but he knew that was wishful thinking. One word he would never hear from Yuu's full, devious lips was 'sorry'.

"It's not your fault", Kouyou said and he got his handsome face to smile through it all his eyes still looking as sad as ever. He was not one to dwell on things, he really wasn't, and he could will himself to be happy most of the time. "I'm just going to have to talk to Yuu about this."

"Who knows, maybe he has an explanation to it all", Akira mumbled, not sounding too convincing even if Kouyou knew that was, what the other hoped for.

"I'm sure he does."

His tone sounded uncharacteristically bitter as he said the words. But he knew Yuu would have an explanation, he always did.

\----

Every once in a while, it seemed like he had to put up with way too much to be with the one the wanted. Because all men had their limits, and at these times it felt like he had passed his own way down the road they were on. Takashima Kouyou didn't consider himself dramatic or malicious, and he had been rather patient - he'd once used an whole week to master a song Takanori had written. Still he sometimes thought of how he could hurt Shiroyama Yuu in some way, that would pain the other even a fraction bit of as much as the other had put him through as he'd waited for the other to come around at some point.

That day he thought maybe he was through waiting, because what he was waiting for didn't even seem to be on it's way and he wasn't sure if it ever was going to be.

"I picked up some food."

The tone was casual, had no hint of any guilt, no traces of any repressed feelings. Kouyou knew how good Yuu was at hiding emotions, because there was a lot only he knew about Yuu; things the other had told him in the dark hours of the nights, where they'd felt the closest to each other.

"Thank you", Kouyou said, not looking up at the other as he made his way into their studio apartment closing the door behind him. Kouyou was sitting by the small table close to the kitchen part of the studio apartment. Yuu looked at him with steady eyes, a bit warily, since Kouyou had never been good at hiding his emotions. They seemed to flow to the surface more often than not, if he was not able to forget them. 

He didn't usually look serious, his face usually in a soft smile or with a far away look in his eyes dreaming away, happy with life more often than not. But at that moment his eyes were downcast, and Yuu could probably see he wanted to say something, could feel how the unsaid words hung heavy in air even before they were said.

"What's up?" Yuu asked as he began putting the food away into the fridge. His shoulders were tense, his whole being spoke of a defensive attitude, which the dark haired guitarist usually had going anytime he was accused of anything. This even now, before Kouyou had said anything about what he wanted to say.

"I had coffee with Akira today", Kouyou started and didn't know wether he really wanted to bring up the issue or not. Because he knew how painful and ugly the whole thing could, and most likely would, blow up to be, when he did. Yuu's defense was an aggressive force that brought down a lot, when it got going.

"Sounds nice." Yuu's tone was a little tense and Kouyou looked up at the other, who was standing in front of the small kitchen window looking intimidatingly like a dark shadow. He knew Yuu was waiting by now, the other knew something was up, that a storm was building up. 

"Yea. He saw you out clubbing yesterday night."

He let the words come out of his mouth with a small sigh. He didn't even have time to hold his breath waiting for a response, as it was instant. Like it always was, when it came to Yuu.

"So?" The voice was questioning and defensive, like he did not get what Kouyou was coming to with this. "I told you I was going out yesterday", he added to the end, trying to make his argument more valid.

"Yea, I know", Kouyou said in a annoyed tone, because he was tired of this by now. He even wondered why he bothered to bring this up, it clearly wasn't going to change anything, it never had before, and it only brought him in a foul mood along side with Yuu.

Yuu had his arms crossed across his slender, shirt clad chest and he was avoiding looking at Kouyou. His breathing was heavy, as heavy as Kouyou's, bringing oxygen to a frenetically beating heart. The silence wasn't as silent as it could have been, when Yuu busied himself with making coffee, not at all careful with not making a sound, more like making sure to make as much noise as possible with the cans and cups. Kouyou knew he only had to wait a little while now, that he didn't have to bring this further, that he could not stop this anymore. Yuu would take the next step very soon.

"So why are you bringing this up then?" Yuu demanded in an angry tone, one that clearly had the underlying guilt buried somewhere under all the the hotly flaming fire, in the ashes. Kouyou watched as Yuu stopped everything he was doing to look at him with dark, narrowed eyes, ones that accused him, that dared him to go on with this, that didn't pity him at all.

"Akira said you spent the night grinding up against some girl", Kouyou said in a voice he'd hoped would sound more steady and neutral, in stead of accusing. He wasn't exactly mad, he felt more like betrayed and sad. His voice portrayed those feeling coming out as a pathetic sound: "And he saw you kissing her too."

Yuu was out of words, Kouyou could tell by the way the other man didn't respond, and how he turned away - the other did that when he wasn't able to look at Kouyou with a clean conscience, it had happened more than once before. Kouyou waited patiently, he always did, because Yuu always came around with something to say about the matter.

"That was totally innocent, Suzuki probably didn't tell you that." The tone Yuu used was a fast paced one that indicated some lying and making up along the way.

It began like that most of the time, with excuses; ones that Kouyou had bought clear eyed to begin with, but which seemed too far fetched by now, way too used to be able to believe anymore. He listened anyway, because he wanted to believe them even now, wanted to make this work. He just didn't know if he could.

"I just don't understand why you have to do stuff like that", Kouyou said in pained voice before Yuu could go on. Because this was not the first time they had had this conversation, about a matter like this.

"It doesn't mean anything!" Yuu defended himself in a raised voice sounding annoyed. He seemed a lot like a cornered dog, all tensed and barking loudly, but having no way to escape or defend himself.

"But you should know by now that it means something to me!" Kouyou argued raising his voice a bit and fixing his eyes on the shadow in front of the window that was Yuu. And like the corned dog feeling even more trapped, he began barking louder:

"Well, it's not my fault that you take it to mean something, when it doesn't, is it?" Yuu demanded defensively. There was no winning with Yuu, there never had been and there never would be. The other was too good at justifying anything he did, to himself and to others, that he would always have something to defend himself with.

"Why do you do it if it means nothing then?" Kouyou asked a little bitterly now. He wasn't going to give up now, he usually did, had usually backed down in these situations. But he had to push further this time, had to see where this would take him. He couldn't keep waiting for things to change if he did the exact same moves to complete this evil circle over and over again.

An angry Yuu was a scary one, someone he couldn't recognize as the man who kissed him softly, but firmly in the mornings, the one that let loose when playing guitar on stage or the one that cried on his weak moments in the darkest hours of the night on rare occasions. He'd rather not be faced with the kind of wrath that he knew the other was capable of, but he didn't feel like he had a choice anymore; he couldn't keep on running in the same circle all over again and not getting anywhere.

Yuu had a defensive stand and he leaned back against the counter as he lowered his eyes, shrugging his shoulders not saying anything to the question. Obviously there was no answer to be given, it wasn't something Yuu had thought about. It seemed like that showed just how little Yuu cared, but it was never that simple with the other.

There were so many sides to Yuu, ones that only Kouyou saw, some that were shown to the world and most of them were contradicting each other completely. Kouyou had often thought that he himself only had one side, for good or for bad, and maybe this simpleness wasn't compatible with a complex Yuu.

When the question of why still wasn't being answered, Kouyou decided to speak:

"You don't know, do you?" he asked and sighed. He'd really hoped Yuu would have had something to say in defense of himself, something to say so Kouyou could forgive him again. "Then I think I don't make you happy."

"It does not mean that! Why do you have to be such a girl about this?" Yuu flamed up instantly at those words. Kouyou looked at the other seeing a little panicked look in the other's eyes, which he couldn't place before Yuu started pacing around in the small kitchen space rambling: "You know how I am, I live in the moment. It was really more friendly."

Kouyou listened as more excuses came out of Yuu's full lips, his own mind trying to wrap around this. Because he couldn't place the reason Yuu was hanging on to this romance they had, trying to fight for it. But he had never been able to grasp a hold of Yuu's reasons or decisions.

And he had no idea, what to do; he really wanted to forgive and forget, but he wasn't sure he was able to do so this time.

Yuu was looking at him with dark eyes soft, but not really showing much in them. Kouyou had never been one to be good at reading people, and he had a feeling Yuu was one of the hardest people to really understand throughly - sometimes it seemed that Yuu himself didn't really know what he wanted. Still whatever he did, he did it with such confidence, that people were sure that this man knew, what he wanted.

The steps that Yuu took towards Kouyou were as confident as always, not halting or hesitating at all. The move to pull out a chair beside Kouyou was just as sure, and the hand at touched Kouyou's shoulder was not shaking at all. Kouyou looked up to those dark eyes, trying to understand where the other was coming from, but not finding anything to see.

"It's just a misunderstanding", Yuu said softly. obviously having cooled down a bit after getting to let out his emotions. The flaming fire had tired itself out to the softly glowing embers. The hand on Kouyou's shoulder moved to the bare skin of the neck, warm and calloused fingers stroking softly, but surely.

Kouyou couldn't do anything, but nod in agreement, letting Yuu pull him down to a kiss, that was firm and persuasive. The tongue that pressed at his lips was slick and soft, one that he was used to, but he didn't open his mouth. He didn't respond at all, still feeling unsure and confused.

Fiery as always, it didn't take Yuu long to push harder, wanting Kouyou to answer as he bit down on the other lip. He earned a yelp, as Kouyou pulled back a little shocked tasting the blood on his lower lip, when he licked it. Yuu had bit him before, but not hard enough to draw blood, like this time. It had always been playful and more or less gentle, a sign of affection more than the obvious anger that it represented this time.

The embers in Yuu were a lot like this, they could fire up again after cooling down, it didn't take much to set them off. This time the fire was sure to burn down everything with it.

Kouyou looked up at Yuu. He was bewildered at, what had happened and not so surprised to find the other's eyes narrowed and obviously angry - the only emotion Kouyou was ever able to read of the other.

"If you just want to get rid of me, you can say it and not make up excuses", Yuu said voice angry and hot - Kouyou had never heard Yuu voice cold in all their fights, it was always full of hot anger.

"That's not it, I would say so if I meant so", Kouyou started and got confused with how this whole thing had turned around like this. Yuu still didn't look happy with his and Kouyou looked after the other as he got up and walked away from him.

Their apartment wasn't big enough for there to be many places for the other to go, and when Kouyou heard a door slam shut, he knew Yuu had locked himself up in the bathroom; apart from the front door, it was the only door they had in their fair sized studio.

He wasn't sure what to think about the turn of events, he had never seen Yuu walk away in any situation unsolved: the other usually made sure to burn everything down before walking away or making up. Kouyou even waited a small moment, before accepting that the other had actually stormed off, almost expecting Yuu to change his mind and come back yelling.

He looked over at the white door, which showed no clues to what was going on inside the mind of the man that had hid himself behind it. So as it turned out, that day he didn't get any answers, any way out or some way forward. He would still have to wait for Yuu.

\---

He woke up to slowly, like he usually did. The curtains of their small windows were open letting in the bright sunlight, so he had to blink his eyes a couple of times to get used to it. He groaned a little moved his stiff and lanky body around on the bed. There was no resistance of a warm body for his limps to move to the other side of the bed, which differed from most times when he'd wake up. Kouyou wasn't awake enough to think what had caused the difference, but he was used to slowly gathering memories in the morning piece by piece.

As all his senses began to wake with him, he made out the sounds in the room. The coffeemaker was bubbling and buzzing as it was dripping the coffee. There was a small thud of something being placed on a surface, and he turned his head towards the sound. He narrowed his eyes tiredly towards the sunlight in the kitchen area registering everything ever so slowly.

Yuu was standing by the counter and the cupboards, his dark hair messy around his shoulders and shining a little purplish in the sunlight. Kouyou knew the other was looking at him and could see the other move towards him confidently. Kouyou had got himself up to sit when Yuu was beside him and handed him a cup of coffee.

The coffee had milk added into it making it a light beige color, revealing Yuu had made it just for him. Yuu drank his coffee black, adding nothing and sometimes jokingly making fun of Kouyou being a wuss for adding milk to his. The gesture made a smile appear on Kouyou's face.

"Thank you", he said with a rasp voice, still raw from sleeping. Yuu hummed a reply, not exactly saying anything, but letting the other know it was nothing. They didn't say anything after that for a while, and Kouyou watched Yuu as the other sat down beside him.

It felt like they both knew they had to talk, but neither having the words to say. Yuu might have had the words, but Kouyou was fairly sure the dark-haired guitarist just didn't want to say them. But the words were there between them, hanging in the air, waiting to fall like bombs of destruction.

Kouyou took a sip from his coffee and thought that maybe they didn't have to talk about this, maybe it wasn't that time. He knew he wasn't going to do this, that he wouldn't have the strength to.

"Did you sleep at all?" Kouyou asked in a sincere voice a small concern and curiosity in his voice. It didn't sound forced and it wasn't, but Yuu looked a little surprised. And maybe he was, maybe he'd anticipated the end, much like Kouyou had.

"Not really", he replied in a clear voice. His dark eyes searched Kouyou's face, and the lighter haired man wasn't really sure, what the other was looking for. His full lips turned into a small smile, and Kouyou had a feeling the other realized one thing that he had realized a moment before: this didn't have to end if they didn't want it to.

Yuu had always been one for expressing his feelings in actions rather than word - Kouyou had ever really heard the other say very affectionate words to him, or anyone else. So the kiss pressed to his still dry and slightly sore lips was a intense one, full of the the relief from not having to part their ways. Kouyou could feel the full lips pressed onto his own, turn into a smile, and laughed along with Yuu as they parted.

"You spilled your coffee", Yuu said in a low voice, staying close to Kouyou. His hands were on Uruha's boxer clad thigh rubbing it in a way that could not be misinterpreted. The calloused finger found the hem and worked their way underneath teasingly. All the while Yuu's dark eyes looked at Kouyou's expression, judging when to move forward - not that it ever took very long, Yuu had never been a patient man.

Kouyou's eyes turned to look at the coffee mug that sure enough had spilled over leaving a stain on the white sheet of the bed. He could feel his concentration slipping as Yuu's fingers played on his skin, feeling up higher and higher on his thigh, when they worked their way under the fabric of his boxers. He hummed a reply not really knowing what was going on anymore and turned to look at Yuu with gazed over eyes, clearly only focussed on the fingers.

It was when Yuu pulled his hand away, that Kouyou made his move. It didn't take him long, and it felt almost like he did it out of instinct, when he moved forward to push Yuu down on the bed and climb on top of the other. His lips moved along Yuu's perfectly, their breathing getting heavy and ragged. They had done this many times before, sometimes more hurried other more slow.

This time it felt like it almost went too fast. Yuu was in a hurry like Kouyou had never seen before pulling his own shirt over his head swiftly pausing their kisses. As Kouyou's shirt was coming off and almost got stuck on his one arm, Kouyou heard a groan of frustration from his boyfriend, who was furiously pulling at the fabric. Yuu had never been a patient man, even less with sex unless he was in a playful mood(where Kouyou could get anything but off).

Kouyou let out a small laugh as the panting man underneath him finally got the disliked piece of garment off his completely and threw it across the room. Yuu smiled a little too, before he pulled Kouyou down to a hard kiss. Their bare chests met, bare skin hot and soft.

"We're getting rid of that shirt", Yuu mumbled as he pulled away. His hand was working it's way down Kouyou's slender back finding the elastic band of his boxers. He ran along it to the front side as Kouyou lifted his hips to give enough room for the hand.

"It's a bad shirt", Kouyou agreed and closed his eyes, when Yuu's hand moved inside his boxers. They stroked along the hipbone and found a fully hard erection. His breath hitched as Yuu moved his fingers along it without pressure, just barely touching. Yuu always did the soft stroking before grabbing on completely, and Kouyou liked it a lot, waiting patiently with anticipation for when the finger would wrap around him. He was holding himself up on his arms, hands holding onto Yuu's bare shoulders.

He let out a moan as Yuu finally put pressure on and grabbed a hold of him at the shaft of his erection and moving it slowly up. Kouyou lowered his head and rested it beside Yuu's head, his breath at the junction of other's neck and shoulder. He opened his eyes a small moment when Yuu began to move his hand at a faster pace seeing the other's profile. Yuu biting his lips in concentration and focussing on the task of his him off. He closed his eyes again, loosing himself in the sensation of Yuu's fingers wrapped around his cock.

It didn't take him long to come. They had been together long enough for the other to know, where to touch, at which pace he liked it best. He had his eyes closed and he bit down on Yuu's neck, when he came trusting down to meet the hand that touched him. It took him a while to recover, regaining any control over his thoughts, getting any touch with what was happening. He realized his arms where shaking at the task of holding his up, and he stretched them out lifting himself off Yuu to lie beside the other.

The wetness in his boxers was turning slightly cooler and more uncomfortable by the minute, so he pulled them off. He whipped himself off on them and threw them away and continued calming himself down, completely ready to dose off really.

But he knew the passionate man beside him wouldn't let him rest for long, and shut his eyes while he could. He enjoyed the small, slightly impatient kisses that the other planted on his neck and cheek, before Yuu lost most of his patience and pressed his pelvic section against his hip in a non subtle way of telling Kouyou his urgent need for release.

"You're so impatient", Kouyou mumbled a little amused and turned to face the other running his finger along the bare, smooth skin of Yuu's chest and stomach. He could feel small quivers of tensing muscles under his touch, and loved how the other had always been so sensitive.

"You would be too if you didn't get off first", Yuu said a little defensively, but tone rather soft - it was just in his nature to be on the edge all the time. Kouyou didn't think it was necessarily a bad feature, and liked to think Yuu was feeling less on the edge around him.

He didn't reply to the other, knowing Yuu accepted victory when someone didn't respond anymore. Teasing a little, he played his fingers along the soft skin by elastic band of the gray sweatpants Yuu was wearing. The dark haired man was growing more impatient by the minute he could tell, as fingers tightened around his forearm and short fingernails pressed into his skin. Yuu's dark eyes were cast down on the hand and he shifted to lay more on his back before closing them and laying his head down.

Kouyou pulled his hand away and he heard Yuu let out a small complaining whine. That attitude didn't last long though, when the dark haired young man realized where the other was going as Kouyou settled himself down on the floor by the bed dark eyes watching him curiously. He then pulled Yuu towards him a little more grabbing his thighs. Yuu was eager to move, and shifted gladly to get himself closer to Kouyou.

He ran his hands up Yuu's clad thighs to the top of the sweatpants, softly playing along the skin a little, before taking a hold of the pants. He pulled down the sweats, Yuu lifting his hips up to allow him to do so. There was some fumbling, but he got them off completely and dropped them on the floor. He took a moment to look up and admire the nakedness of Yuu, the skin looking all smooth and soft even in the clear, slightly golden morning light.

He moved to touch the revealed erection with his one hand first, moving it up, before slowly down again. He got himself more up on the bed and hovered over Yuu's hips. Using his slick tongue, he licked the underside of the cock and then took the tip into his mouth. His hand moved along the part he hadn't got his mouth on yet and he slowly lowered it as he took the whole thing into his mouth pausing for a bit.

He really enjoyed giving Yuu blow jobs, liked to listen to the sounds the other made; the breathy sighs, the loud moans, gasps and occasional hissing through his teeth if Kouyou used his own softly. He closed his eyes to listen as he started sucking and licking at a soft and calm pace first.

The other was vocal as always, pulling at Kouyou's bleached, dry hair with on hand and trying to push up into the other's mouth, only to be prevented by a strong arm holding his hips down. There was a sighed curse, before a louder moan came out of Yuu's mouth, when Kouyou picked up his pace. He sucked and moved his head up and down, eyes fixed up at what he could see of Yuu, the long slender stomach, one arm coming down to grasp Kouyou's hair and the other laying over his eyes.

When the other came, Kouyou was prepared and swallowed it all. He licked a few times along the softening shaft to get it all, before he moved his way up to see how the other was doing. He placed kisses on Yuu's jawline making his up from the chin to those swollen, reddish lips. Like most men, Kouyou himself included, Yuu couldn't do much the first few moments after an orgasm, and it took him a little while, before he started to return the kisses.

"Mmm", Yuu mumbled after they parted and he was still catching his breath. He turned his head and a small smile came to his face. "Laundry day, huh?" he questioned as his dark eyes looked over the big coffee stain on the sheets. Kouyou nodded his head in agreement and gave Yuu one last kiss before getting up himself.

"How about a shower?" Yuu asked also looking over at Kouyou's still very naked, lean form as the taller man had moved to their closet and was picking out clothes.

"Sounds good to me", he agreed and picked out clothes for Yuu also.

There was some planning back and forth, and they threw the sheet and their old clothes in the washer, before Yuu went to the showers first. That left Kouyou to wait for the other. So he put on a pair of boxers and busied himself in the meanwhile.

Maybe he was naive, maybe he was too good for his own good, when he didn't want to leave Yuu. He thought about that, when he washed the cup that spilled onto their sheets, and made himself a new one. But he was optimistic about this, he knew Yuu made him happy, and he had faith that the other would be coming around sooner or later.

He got caught up in his thoughts, like he always did, shutting out the whole world. He didn't notice Yuu coming towards him, before the other wrapped his damp arms around him from behind. The droplets of chilly water that fell on his shoulder, when the other kisses his neck, sent chills down his spine.

"Lost in your head again", Yuu said in an amused voice with a small laugh. Kouyou nodded with a smile, because he knew it was true. "Your turn for the shower", he then continued and moved away from Kouyou to let the other go.

He looked a Yuu, who only had a towel wrapped around his waist and dark hair wet and dripping. Of course anyone would look more or less a little vulnerable like that, as well as sexy, but the look on Yuu's face told Kouyou there was something bothering the other. Like he was in trouble, like he wanted to tell the other, but couldn't.

"What?" Kouyou asked a little concerned, but more confused. By then Yuu was also understood, that the other knew something was up. He let out a sigh and there was a moment of silence. Kouyou was just about to say, he didn't have to tell, when Yuu spoke up.

"You do make me happy", he said in a stiff voice, but one that Kouyou recognized to be genuine. The dark eyes were looking at the floor, while he said them, like he was ashamed, like he was not comfortable with saying them, but still they were true.

There was a small silence between them as Kouyou understood the meaning behind the words. He couldn't help the smile that came to his lips, when he did. This was something he'd been waiting for, yet something he was almost sure wasn't coming at all. Still, there it was out in the open, and Yuu was already moving on, getting himself dressed and looking into the fridge for food.

"That makes me happy", Kouyou told the other. He then moved non hurriedly along to the shower. And he was happy, because Yuu was finally coming around.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment !


End file.
